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Hello,

Thank you for the excellent question.

God calls us to love Him more than anything or anyone else. We recognize that it is good for us to do so, but there are times when that focus escapes us, and we end up loving other things or people more than God. That is the story of idolatry written throughout the Old Testament, and we need to recognize it today. Your question is right on what matters, and I thank you for asking this excellent question.

First, let's visit the elephant in this question: what does it mean to love God or anyone else? If you can be clear on this question, you would know when you are loving God.

We can love others (or God) to the measure that we have experienced love. For example, think of the person from whom you have received the most love in your life. Is it your mom, your dad, a pastor, a sister, or a friend? With that understanding of love (care, concern, priority toward you over others, and other measures that you recognize), you can love others the same. In fact, you are likely to love your future children with this kind of love. That is how we understand love. It is from that understanding that we love others.

Now, using that understanding, you can compare how much of that measure you give toward God. For example, the priority in our hearts toward God is significant to me. That means I am excited throughout the day when I wake up with praise on my lips and am conversing with Him before the day begins. I feel confident throughout the day as I dialogue with Him about many things. However, let's say on a day when things are rushed, perhaps we woke up late, and there are many things to do--could we be placing God as a lower priority? (we better fix that!).

The Bible also tells us how we can know we are loving God. The answer is our ability to love others.

No one has ever seen God. But if we love each other, God lives in us, and his love is brought to full expression in us. And God has given us his Spirit as proof that we live in him and he in us. -1John 4:12-13 (NLT)

As we experience God's love for us, which is experienced more and more as we remain in Him, we then grow in that ability to love others (See 1John 4:17 ). Are we growing in our ability to love others (forgive them, care for them, have them as a priority, etc.)? Our ability to love others is the indicator that we love God.

If someone says, "I love God," but hates a Christian brother or sister, that person is a liar; for if we don't love people we can see, how can we love God, whom we cannot see? And he has given us this command: Those who love God must also love their Christian brothers and sisters. - 1John 4:20-21 (NLT)

Regarding your question about how we ought to love bf/gf concerning loving God more than all things, let's start with the foundation. The concept of bf/gf is a more recent cultural thing. Biblically, God calls a man and a woman to be united through marriage. I encourage you to see such relationships as a direction toward that permanence. Until that commitment exists between the two persons, it may be best to consider each other as friends and protect what you wish to give your future spouse. This includes your emotions and other things you consider of great value. In the end, your spouse ought to become the model to receive and demonstrate the maximum love that you would give to God (See Ephesians 5:22-33 ).

Now we can put those together. How can we love God foremost with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength? We place our understanding of the greatest love to God. Over time, that understanding of love will grow and you will love God even more. As an overflow of that love, we love others. The love that you share will demonstrate that you are a disciple of Jesus.

So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples. -John 13:34-35 (NLT)

Write back any time! Many blessings!

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