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Hello,

Thank you for your question.

Believe it or not, this is a very difficult question for today. The reason is

1. The Bible does not call masturbation a sin. It does not really talk about it directly.

2. Yet, many sinful drives lead to it. Things that lead to sin or are driven by sin are not good. It is not representative of Christ. We ought to seek holiness to remain close to God, and even questionable things should be avoided when possible.

Let me try brainstorming a few ideas that point to the issues of "today," and please respond with what you may be facing.

A. The first piece close to my heart is God's blessings for marriage. Due to the availability of pornography today and the direction toward "individuality," people seek to satisfy themselves on their own. Men no longer have a drive to love a woman, and they grow old and begin to question whether they should be married when they are old, like 40+. By then, they ask whether they must marry a woman ten years younger than them or have children. As you can see, masturbation leads to forgetting/forsaking God's blessings of marriage. Marriage (and having children) are blessings from God, and sex, too, is a blessing from God. Yet, when we distort that outside marriage, it will be a curse. (I briefly touched on this topic in a message I shared yesterday: https://www.ljl.church/sermons?i=63

B. Why do people masturbate? Their emptiness can drive it. Loneliness, wanting to be loved (like that movie or drama we may see), and other emotions. Again, I'll point to "individualism" today that causes people to live fake, hidden lives. As a result, they must put up a mask to cover their brokenness. In today's world (and you probably agree), Facebook, TikTok, and other platforms show fake people who put up smiling faces while they struggle alone. The local church must be where the community is formed and nurtured. The lack of true deep relationships may be the core problem.

C. Selfishness is a sin. God calls us to love one another. The picture of marriage shows God's relationship to the Church, and for a man to be unfaithful to his wife is a sin.

As Jesus loves the Church, the husband must love his wife, even to the point of death. Now, for a single man to live for himself, for his pleasure, without considering his future wife will weaken his love for his (future) wife. Examples can be dating many women, having intimate connections, and sleeping with them before meeting their spouse will leave a scar on the intimacy they can achieve. (The concept of dating is another modern-day trend/issue that requires another conversation). So, for people to masturbate outside of marriage do not consider their future spouse. They believe they can meet their own sexual needs. Instead, singles should wait to enjoy their partner in marriage. For married people, the same concept applies. Masturbation would disregard the other partner and seek to please themselves. It is more pleasurable when both partners want to please each other.

I hope this gives some ideas to your question. Please write back with what you may be experiencing.

Thanks!

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